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Student Government In Gridlock Over “Natty Light is Piss Water” Debate

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Student Government In Gridlock Over “Natty Light is Piss Water” Debate

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Student Government at Iowa State University™ has once again reached gridlock over the quality of Natural Light beer. In perhaps the most heated exchange yet, members of student government broke into two factions over the quality Anheuser-Busch’s affordable light beer. One group of senators, led by Social Officer Grant Stevens, stated that at 15 dollars for a 20 pack, natural light allowed senators to get, “Absolutely shit faced for the price of a sandwich at subway.” While the other senators joined Financial Chair Chelsea Sensone by agreeing that “Natty tastes like piss water” and “If you want to get drunk buy liquor, dumbasses.” The debate took the most focus of a meeting involving discussion of Iowa State copyright policy and funding for the next fiscal year. Most of the debate took the form of personal insults from individual senators to those on the other side of the aisle. Notable remarks include, “Of course you don’t have any taste, Paul. Didn’t you grow on a farm? Did they even have imported beer there” and “Damnit Pat, all beer tastes bad, Natty just taste the least bad and it doesn’t cost me a month’s rent to go out.” Notable all the student senators under 21 concluded their statements with, “Not that I’d know.”

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Student Government In Gridlock Over “Natty Light is Piss Water” Debate