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Ten Official Sity Sauce Endorsements for the 2018 Midterms

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Federal Congress: The Cookie MonsterImage result for cookie monster site:wikimedia.org

This high stakes election pits incumbent Steve King vs. Challenger J.D. Scholten. Conservatives seek to hold on what was until recently a very safe seat while liberals believe Steve King’s extreme rhetoric will allow them to flip the seat. We here a Sity Sauce believe there is a better, more delicious candidate on the horizon for northwest Iowa. The Cookie Monster has demonstrated to be a consistent, trustworthy candidate, if a single issue, and we believe northwest Iowa could use a little bit of sweetness.


 

Governor of Iowa: Your Own Mother

Mother and her son.jpg

Fred Hubbell seeks to unseat the one-time lieutenant governor of Iowa Kim Reynolds from her position as the head of the state of Iowa. Reynolds is controversial at Iowa State considering she is a recent (2016) graduate of the university but has also been part of a budget cut for each state university. We at Sity Sauce think that this year there’s someone special we’ve all been forgetting about this election season. Our mothers. Mother’s day is coming up in just six months and what better gift to give her than voting for her for governor of Iowa?


Secretary of State: A Wistful Look Into the Distance

He is looking at you.jpg

 

Secretary of State of Iowa is a generally relatively quiet race but this year it has begun to heat up considering it is the Secretary of State which manages elections in the state. Pate, the incumbent, has enforced Voter ID laws in Iowa which he states is to avoid voter fraud. Opponents state that the enforcement of these rules is an attempt at voter suppression. Sity Sauce believes that what would serve the state of Iowa best is rather a quiet, reflective stare off into the middle distance.


Treasurer of State: The Pringles Can Guy

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Honestly, we don’t know much about why this guy is important but we’re guessing it’s related to money and the Pringles can guy looks kinda like the monopoly man and the most financial analysis any of us have done is during a game of Monopoly, so that seems like a good bet.


Secretary of Agriculture: Panda Lady

Nothing is going to keep this state fed and happy like the Panda Lady, just think about it. We don’t know her full name so just write in “Panda Lady.” I’m sure they’ll know who you’re talking about.


Attorney General: Hot Cop

Okay, so his name is Anthony Greiter so if you want to just put in Anthony “Hot Cop” Greiter that would work. I dunno, he knows what laws are, I think. Mmmm, hot cop.

 


State Senate:  That Thing Where You Just Had A Haircut and You’re Showering and You Pour Out Too Much Shampoo Because You Didn’t Correct For All The Hair You Just Got Cut Off

Hey, it’s in a college town so it’ll be a Democrat either way. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if there were enough write-ins on this one to get the state to actually report this as a candidate? You’d have to write really small to fit it in that little write-in boxes. We believe in you.


County Board of Supervisors: Batman and Robin

File:WonderCon 2015 - Batman and Robin (16861821748).jpg

¯\_(ツ)_/¯


County Attorney: Jessica A. Reynolds

Image result for Jessica A. Reynolds

Running unopposed.

She seems nice.

 

 

All photos from Getty Images, Wikimedia Commons, and Twitter

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Ten Official Sity Sauce Endorsements for the 2018 Midterms