Sity Sauce

Campbell Sold Soul To Upset Another Top 10 Team

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After the impressive win over the number six ranked team in the nation, many sports analysts were left wondering if satanic rituals or other such witchcraft was involved. As ESPN sportscaster Ronny Roberts commented during the game, “Wow, such great play calling Matt Campbell has surely called upon the occult” further stating, “I would say at least he’s been consulting with spirits after that call.” During the live telecast, there were reports of Campbell’s eyes glowing red and new hellish tattoos appearing as his ties to the underworld seemed to strengthen. Many fans live in attendance claimed that he wasn’t even using a playbook during the game, but rather consulting the Necronomicon, the book of the dead. In a post-game conference, Campbell seemed to confirm the reports. When asked about his defense he answered in tongues saying, “Sashhaihs huessss garrr wetye ajhka.” After consulting our resident priest it appears as if Campbell was speaking the language of the dead. His response roughly translates to “They did a great job, and I just love how they fell in love with the process out there.” Whether or not the new and improved Matt Campbell will be able to keep upsetting teams is unknown, but what is certain is that Campbell will be avoiding holy water after his dark pact.

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Campbell Sold Soul To Upset Another Top 10 Team